The way in which we enter this world matters, from womb to mother's arms, it matters massively. I’m not only talking about the birth of your own babies here either. Of course, the birth of your baby is a really big deal, to you, to your partner and, actually pretty hugely to your baby, too. But, before we even get into the experiences around your own babies, I wonder if you’ve ever considered your very own arrival into the world, and perhaps even the journey you experienced as you developed inside the womb...
It’s maybe a little known-or rarely mentioned, probably due to it's complexity- phenomenon, that babies in utero have awareness. I know, it's a bit of a tricky thing to get your head around. From early on, as a teenie tiny foetus, miraculously grows into a fully formed baby, our mother's experiences can be imprinted. Obviously a baby inside the womb doesn't have rational thoughts, or emotions, and definitely isn't self aware at all, but baby does have an unconscious awareness of it’s surroundings and can sense Mumma's own feelings, beliefs and emotions.
This is by no means meant to panic the be-Jesus out of you, especially if you’re fortunate enough to be a blooming bumpy one at the moment- even more so if you've been feeling anxious or uncertain- but it is quite an astounding consideration for you in terms of not just your own pregnancies, but the way in which you were grown, intrinsically connected to your own mother.
I wonder if you have felt things, either profoundly, or just simmering away; fears, worries, unease, limiting belief, situations or circumstances that make you feel anxious, scared, overwhelmed, irrational or out of control? Have you ever stopped to query with yourself, where these feelings come from?
Perhaps you have an irrational fear of needles, an unusually distressing feeling of dis-ease when you hear people arguing or raising their voices, maybe you suffer from unexplained health anxiety; debilitating fear for your own health deteriorating, analysing every niggling pain, symptom or test result? Or perhaps these fears are projected onto your baby, your children, partner or parents? Maybe you feel either an overwhelming bond with your own mother, or on the flip side, an unusual disconnection or conflict?
If you delve deep, think about your early years, your own birth and just as importantly, what was going on in your parents’ lives when you were developing away inside your Mumma’s womb, you may just find the answers to some, or even all of these things...
And yes, of course, then there is the all important pregnancy and birth of your own little darlings. I wonder if you are aware of the impact this this can have, not just on the rest of their precious lives, but also on you as the awesome wonder woman that you are, and need to continue to be for the rest of, well, ever.
As I said before, these things are huge. Pregnancy, birth and those early years are so damn crucial; for us as mothers, caregivers, nurturers, lovers, nourishing, supportive and compassionate women. And also, these imprints, these vital first impressions that are being breathed into our mini ones’ subconscious minds, have the potential to set them up to become the epic human beings that we know they can be.
These literal life changing experiences will shape the way we view ourselves from the inside out, and how we choose, (consciously or more likely, subconsciously) to show up in the world in which we live.
Everything changes the day you become a mother, everything. I believe that the moment you even find out you’re pregnant could set the tone for the rest of your pregnancy, birth and beyond. So here is the reassuring bit, your feelings and emotions are all-yes all- gifted to you for a reason. Deep down within you, your incredible subconscious has your back, believe it or not, it’s working for you, never against- (even though I totally get that may be hard to believe if you’re struggling right now).
The perceived “good”, the “bad” and even the ugly feelings, have positive intentions for you, predominantly, authentically wanting you to be able to be and feel safe, protected, and loved.
So if you’re pregnant now- you’re doing a flippin’ incredible job by the way- and you’re feeling anxious, worried, fearful or self doubting, please don’t feel that you need to live with this, help is out there for you, you are never alone. You, and your precious cargo, have the instinctive, innate desire to feel safe, this is your human right, you absolutely and utterly deserve it, I’d need to write more than a blog post to tell you just how passionate I am about this.
The way you feel during this magical time in your life is imperative for you, your upcoming birth and, of course for your baby. Believe me, I’m saying this with buckets of love and empathy, because I absolutely know how hard life can be sometimes. Please listen to yourself my love, make the choice to fall in love with your pregnancy, to trust in yourself, in your awesome body, (that’s already working so damn hard) in your instincts and the power of your incredible mind.
Not only is it so important that you trust implicitly in all aspects of yourself as a woman, as a mother, but it’s crucial that you put trust in your baby to work in harmony with your body, your mind, the magical cocktail of hormones pulsing through you, and with the empowered messages of love, trust and safety that we must send to them, so that they enter this complex world feeling safe, loved, protected and cherished.
Maybe you’ve done the birthing bit and you’ve come through the other side, maybe once, maybe two, three or even four times, (not even going there with 5- for any of you Super, super SUPER Mummas out there!) Perhaps you’ve got a baby, a toddler, a pre-schooler, school age, or even a whole tribe of miniatures and you’re feeling like life has gifted you a dark and gloomy thundercloud to live under.
If the birth of your baby left you feeling disappointed, robbed of choice, out of control, hurt, confused, disempowered, vulnerable or violated, if your experience of pregnancy, care, birth or the post natal period has left you feeling stripped of vitality, energy, strength and feminine power, then please, I urge you, reach out.
You deserve more than this Lovely, there are gentle, empowering, loving and transformational ways in which you can reclaim the fire that’s been dampened inside of you, set yourself free from the pain- yes, even physical pain, as well as emotional- you owe it to yourself, and to those blooming fabulous little people to step into a life for yourself where you sparkle and shine with the pure joy of what life has to offer you.
Maybe you are unaware of how your experiences have impacted you, perhaps this has opened your eyes or inspired you to question how you’re really, and I mean really, truly feeling right now. I hope so my love, because it may sound like a cliché, but this life is to be lived, not in a cloud of darkness and fuzzy, uneasy fog, but in glorious technicolour, sparkle and shine. Be the awesome, fabulous and utterly magnificent Mellow Mumma that you, and your family deserve.
So if any of this has got your cogs whirring, sparked a flickering flame inside you, touched or resonated with you in anyway, I’d love nothing more than for you to get in touch. I’m here, at Breathing Space, the most welcoming, safe, powerful and unique space like no other, waiting for you with wide open arms, and a warm compassionate heart. I have the skills, the love, the passion and understanding to gently guide you through using either;
My own independent, thorough and honest Birth Prep & Hypnobirthing workshops, so that you can ensure you fall in love with your pregnant self, and your baby enters this world in a positive way, allowing you both to feel safe, calm and empowered, Mellow Mumma, (and doting Daddio)…
Magical and utterly transformational 1:1 sessions using a range of powerful, mind blowing and empowering techniques to seriously stoke that fire within you and allow you to shine bright like the super star you are…
Gentle, life changing and super effective Birth Trauma Healing sessions, to enable you to leap forwards to live your life as the brightest, sparkliest most colourful version of you…
Or group Defrazzle sessions where you can join other awesome Mummas, to release and set free any doubts, fears, and limiting beliefs in a supportive, non judgmental and blissfully relaxing space. Defrazzle is an accessible, affordable weekly dose up uplifting and empowering magic to soothe your Mumma soul...